Relationships this, Relationships that. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I think it’s about time that us single ladies drew up a list of the pros of singledom. Here are my ultimate top 12 reasons as to why being single rules!
Lets not understate it. I am answerable to nobody. If I want to stay out late, I can. If I want a day just chilling, I can. If I want to text boys a, b and c, I can. My parents stopped dictating my life several years ago- tell me why I would regress and have my life dictated by somebody other than myself?!?
2) PLAYING THE FIELD.
So what if I slept with two people last week? Or if I got several guys’ numbers on a crazy night out? Who cares? I am single and playing the field. WHY would I want to be committed to one man and one dick?! I have my whole retirement for commitment, stability and boredom. Do I fancy losing my single status and my youth? No, thank you.
3) FLOURISHING FRIENDSHIPS.
Drunken friends, holding one another up and
singing screeching along to some classic Spice Girls anthems. NO man will suffice. My friendships with the girls have never been so strong. I’m not leaving nights out early to sleep with my man, I’m not bailing on chilling with my girls for a date night and I’m not replacing holidays with friends for romantic holidays for two. I’m a new woman. SINGLE doesn’t mean SINGLE. Single means surrounded by all of my best friends rather than a grumpy boyfriend 24/7.
You know those invitations, not addressed to you but addressed to you AND man? Or those friends who don’t know you in isolation but know you AND man? WELL…they can do one. Who wants to be seen as part of a duo?!? You can’t have Ant without Dec or Laurel without Hardy but BOY can you have me without man. Singledom allows me to reclaim my individuality and my “me” status.
5) TWO PARENTS.
Mum and dad I love you both dearly- but my god do you irritate the hell out of me! WHY ON EARTH would I want to double the amount of irritating adults to interfere in my life?! My single status = NO boyfriend and NO potential mother/father-in-laws. This is undoubtedly a win-win situation.
6) DOUBLE BED.
For a while, the meaning of double bed was lost on me- as it is for all loved up couples. Stolen sheets. Unfair proportions. Limbs in your face. This isn’t for me. I value sleep over a man, any day of the week. Being single means that I get the entirety of my double bed back and can starfish and lie in diagonals when I want.
7) UGLY DAYS.
So what if I want to lounge around my house without make-up, in trackies and a hoodie, with unbrushed slightly greasy hair?! As a singleton nobody can stop or judge me. I don’t have to keep up appearances 24/7 and can save an absolute fortune on razors whilst I grow my leg hair until I can plait it! Here is to embracing my ugly days!!
Everyone loves the thrill of the chase. Relationships are dull because you know that you like each other, you know where you stand with one another and you get too comfortable; it’s boring. Give me dating any day of the week who doesn’t love the uncertainty and the excitement of it all?!
9) MY FILMS.
No- I don’t want to watch this gory murder film with an hour long police chase that has no point to it. Having spent my childhood competing with my dad/brother/uncle/*insert own* for the TV remote, I’m not in a hurry to face this problem in my adult life. I’m quite content with my single status and The Notebook.
10) SEXUAL SELFISHNESS.
For the hundredth time- I’m not interested in having anal sex with you. Also why is the ratio of receiving oral sex always in your favour?! These are the dilemmas that couples face on a regular basis. Singletons instead sleep with who they want and
do refrain from doing what they want! Singletons can be bold in their sexual requests and if they can’t be bothered can exercise weeks of celibacy without any earache.
11) NO HURT.
Cheating- no. Arguments- no. Nasty comments- no. The single life is one that is free of stress and void of pain. Tell me, why the hell I would want to subject myself to the antics of some twat of a guy?!?
12) ALL THE SINGLE LADIES.
You’re on the dancefloor when the Beyonce classic fills the room. You’re busting a few of your best moves with your friends when out the corner of your eye you see a girl awkwardly enjoying the song. AHHH, she’s in a relationship. Only singletons can truly prance around waving their ring fingers in the air singing this classic tune. Give me a couple of vodkas and some decent speakers and ask me again why I want to be in a relationship?!