Why my flatmate sucks more than yours. Reason #3

VERY. LOUD. SEX. AT. ALL. HOURS. OF. THE. DAY.

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This isnt a bitter post. I’m getting some, too. I just don’t need to bloody shriek about it at 3am. I don’t need to f*** said man up against my incredibly LOUD wardrobe so that people in the next room hear the repetitive BANG, BANG, BANG against the wall.

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You’re not an animal, honey. I’m pretty sure that your “LET ME BE YOUR VIRGIN” moans can wait until I am out of the house. Nobody is fooled into thinking you’re innocent.

Also, seeing as you have a revolving door policy into your bedroom…7 men in the last month, I believe. (NOT JUDGING, JUST SAYING!) Do you honestly expect me to believe that they’re all hung enough and able enough to give you scream worthy orgasms?! Yes darling, we all know that you are FAKING. If I wanted to hear some shoddy over the top performance, I’d have Eastenders on catch up at 3am. BUT I DON’T. So please refrain from the big act.

Truly yours,

Your deaf friend in the room next door.

One thought on “Why my flatmate sucks more than yours. Reason #3

  1. hahahaha oh you poor thing! yeah, those are definitely fake! not all men are hung enough to be able to do that, trust me! and 7 in the last month? wow! she is working something, alright! but maybe make it awkward the next time a guy is over? haha that could work somehow (:

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