I love Christmas. I love mince pies. I love mulled wine. I love Frank Sinatra’s Christmas album and I unashamedly adore Mariah Carey’s Christmas hits. I love stockings. I love Christmas markets. I love buying Christmas presents and I love receiving them. I love Christmas films. I love Christmas shopping. I love seeing my eccentric relatives and I love saying goodbye to them. I love midnight mass. I love Christmas decorations. I love an excuse to eat my weight’s worth in chocolate without judgment and I love starting Christmas Day on a glass of champers.
Like I said, I love Christmas. It’s a day for me. A day for my family. A day for my friends. What it is NOT, is a day for relationships. Loved up people; you have Valentine’s day for Christ’s sake…
Maybe you have your naff matching his and hers festive jumpers. Perhaps you want to settle down to Love-frikking-Actually together. Or maybe you want to swan around the Christmas markets arm in arm. I DON’T CARE. Christmas isn’t for you.
Who needs a boyfriend at Christmas? Visiting all of my estranged family over the festive period is the perfect contraception if ever there was one and is enough to put me off marriage for the rest of my life!
Who wants a boyfriend to see you naked as you pile on the mince pie induced pounds left, right and centre? My own family annoy the hell out of me- WHY the hell would I even consider wanting to add unnecessary family members to the list of irritating relatives? That said, I can whine about my folks until the cows come home but don’t event suggest that I spend christmas with a family who aren’t mine. The whole his parents versus my parents is a dilemma that I’m simply not willing to entertain.
I don’t want a boyfriend there to witness my grandad breaking wind, to watch me embarrassingly attempt a game of charades or to slowly observe my nearest and dearest becoming increasingly sloshed.
Christmas Day is not a day for relationships. There is NO room for manoeuvre on this one. The only man I want visiting me outside of my family circle, is Father Christmas and when I get cold, I will eat hot food, drink mulled wine and sit by the fire. Thanks, but no thanks.