“Aww, you will find someone.” My friend coo-ed at me.
EXCUSE ME? I am twenty two, not nearing sixty, divorced and with three now grown up kids in tow. I am not over the hill and I refuse to be pitied and patronised for my single status.
Men and women alike seem to do this. The pitying looks when I show up to a wedding…dateless. The sympathetic glances I receive when I choose to eat alone at restaurants. The constant questioning of my parents, my friends, colleagues.
How is your love life?
Is there a man on the scene?
As if MY existence is judged by and valued against my relationship status. Am I not able to be happy because I am single??!? Must you assume that I am on a man hunt? NO! What if I am happy just being me…and me alone? What if- god forbid– I enjoy being single?
I don’t suppose it ever occurred to these loved up busy bodies that maybe I’m having more fun than them…perhaps I’m sleeping around and having a fantastic time? Maybe I don’t have that one all consuming relationship- but what if I have numerous better relationships with my girlfriends, with my parents and with my siblings?
I don’t have to worry about being cheated on, about a possessive other half, about petty arguments…etc etc. If I’m not worrying about any of that or my single status then WHY THE HELL ARE YOU?!?
I also don’t appreciate the crappy advice. For starters, if I wanted your advice- maybe just maybe, I would seek it for myself. I don’t need to be told that “there are plenty more fish in the sea.” I don’t need to be reminded that “online dating is now actually very socially accepted.” Nor do I need to hear that “I will find it when I’m not looking.” I also don’t care that you know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody that might be single and looking for love. JUST GO AWAY. (Incidentally, have you noticed that these incredibly selfless people who feel qualified to offer love advice at all and any social occasions are actually the ones who unbeknown to them are being cheated on or who actually have really shitty love lives themselves?!!!)
Anyway, I don’t appreciate it. I don’t want everyone who knows me to try playing Cupid or for people to interfere and attempt to dictate my life. These are the crummy friends who want me to be in a relationship but if/when I do- are the sort who complain about my choice in man and who will soon be encouraging me to reclaim my single status!