New Year’s Resolutions

1) Lose weight (the annual aspiration).
2) Make a conscientious effort to stay in touch with old friends.
3) Save money!!
4) Get better grades/be generally successful.

My New Years resolutions.

I hate the hype of New Years Eve but what I hate even more is the notion of New Years resolutions.


It’s a recognition of our past failings. It’s faux hope for the new year that in a matter of months, if not weeks days will become redundant when, again we resort back to our old ways.

It loses something when 80% of my resolutions are the same as they were in 2013, 2012 and actually 2011 now that I think of it. One by one each fails in turn.

It’s soul destroying. Spending January the 1st nursing a hangover, texting all of my old friends, eating a selection of carrots and unsalted nuts and doing an hour of lighthearted premature revision. By the 2nd, half of these good habits have fallen by the wayside. As for the 31st, the permanent feeling of guilt and a vague memory of a desire to eat healthily are all that remain.

It’s not good for the soul to be plagued by the feeling of failure.


If anyone truly wants to become a gym bunny, really wants to eat healthily and strives to read more-then they will do so on their own terms. If the desire strikes us on the 17th of February then that’s as good a day as any to start. We don’t need a new year to implement change.

People don’t even like change. Surely the fact that I’ve forked out an unjustifiable amount of money on new Filofax refills is enough? Added to the challenge of remembering to write a new date, how much more change do we need?

Why do we then impose additional life goals on ourselves? Don’t get me wrong- it’s good to check ourselves every now and again. We should aim to improve and to rectify things we dislike about ourselves but it is essentially flawed.

Self improvement and change are highly personal things. Yet, there is nothing personal about every individual in the country resolving to do something differently. Not because we have reached rock bottom, not because we are doing it for charity but because its January the first.

To me, New Years resolutions tap into the culture of improvement and perfection. The societal desire to be a size zero, to earn more money than we could have the need for and to have a love life to rival that of a rom-com. Resolutions serve to remind us of our past failings and flaws and come to haunt us bit by bit as new resolutions are broken.

Yes, there are people who succeed at their resolutions but these are the sort of people who, lets face it, don’t need them in the first place. The driven, strong willed and successful individuals amongst us are already winning at life whether it be the first of January of the thirty first of December.

It’s us other mere mortals- for whom the New Years resolution was invented- who fail and thus endure the inevitable self hatred and depression that results. We are the people who can’t eat 500 calories a day if our lives depended upon it. We are the people who can’t drag ourselves to the local gyms day in, day out. We are the people who couldn’t orchestrate our own love lives if we were paid to. If we could we wouldn’t need such resolutions. But they are more of a hindrance than a help.

Somebody, somewhere decided that the start of a new year calls for change. I think it’s absolute rubbish…but, just incase- I’ll attempt to implement them nonetheless. As and when I do fail each of my four goals, I will keep you posted if I can tear myself away from a family sized Galaxy bar and a box of Kleenex.

In the mean time; Happy New Year! Have a fabulous 2014.


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