So, you’re in the very early stages of your relationship, how the hell can you tell if the guy you’re seeing is a keeper or not?!?! For as long as he is pursuing you/wanting to get you into bed/enjoying the honeymoon days, he will present you with the good side of his personality, this makes it virtually impossible to work out if actually, he is a bad egg. Virtually impossible.
Here are the 3 ultimate giveaways that your man isn’t actually as great as he seems:
Make him dish the dirt- never an easy topic to discuss- but an essential one. Get him chatting about her, more than what he says, examine how he says it. Sometimes negative feelings are unavoidable, especially if the relationship ended because she cheated on him but said ex-girlfriend is somebody that your man once liked, maybe even loved. This is someone that you are possibly hoping to follow in the footsteps of. If she is the “crazy psycho bitch” or “gold-digging whore” then be VERY aware that when things turn a little sour with you, you might be referred to in such, less than complimentary terms! Ex-girlfriends and the way your man talks about them are vital to pay attention to. Rightly or wrongly, these women are people that he once chose. If he has no respect for them, why would he ever respect you? Now, it’s important to separate the just deserved slating from the unnecessary. If she did cheat there will be negative feelings and anger…but see how he deals with it nonetheless, how he speaks of her- is the greatest insight. Be prepared to have MASSIVE alarm bells if your man has a string of ex-girlfriends all of whom he now seemingly hates. Yes, some girls can be bitches, but how unlucky must a guy be for all five of the women he has been involved with to turn out to be complete psychos?!? There comes a point where the problem isn’t them but him.
I once dated a man who had a huge scar on his stomach. Mmmm, who doesn’t love a manly war wound?! Then I discovered that he had been stabbed. The alarm bells started to ring.
Bad friends? Drugs? Dodgy business? A fight?…no, this wound was inflicted at the hands of his ex-girlfriend. His ex had stabbed him. She must be pretty bloody psycho, if you ask me. BUT, maybe she had her reasons in fact, surely she did? I would never stab anyone, ofcourse there are better ways to resolve a situation but if he hurt her, raped her, cheated on her, became possessive etc…it at the very least might explain why she stabbed him. Even if he was totally innocent and this woman was just generally a psycho, what does this say about him and his questionable taste/decisions?! I don’t know. I didn’t stick around long enough to find out!
2) His mum.
Boys are renowned for having tight relationships with their mums. Realistically, if you get serious with said man…your greatest obstacle and threat will be his mother. Whilst sometimes, undesirable, the relationship your man has with his mum tells you a lot about the guy he is. Yes, some relationships are screwed up and there may be deep-rooted bad issues with their mother-son bond, but on the whole this does not apply. I would steer clear of any man who spoke of his mother even in the most remotely derogatory of ways. If he doesn’t at the very least have some respect for his mum, then how the hell do you ever expect to become worthy of his respect?!!?
3) His friends.
Friends are such a big tell tale sign. Unlike family, these are the human beings that you have chosen. They are a collection of people who for whatever reason, you have given a big thumbs up to. Now, some of my friends are…a little erm, out there and the thought of being judged by them, is one that doesn’t always appeal. God love them. But, in terms of my collective friends- judge away. The girls who are hilarious, truly kind hearted, cheeky but polite. I know my friends are brilliant and I am (on the whole) more than happy to be judged on account of them. You can expect that a few of your man’s friends might not be your favourite people in the world, but on the whole are they good or bad eggs? Druggies? Cheats? Wasters? The odd one might be (hey- nobody is perfect) but if they all are?! ALARM BELLS. It becomes a reflection on your man. Worse still, you’ve never met any of his friends? Or he doesn’t seem to have any?! Personally, I wouldn’t wait around to find out why…