Boring sex is boring- time to look abroad?

With him sex is like a 5 part formula:

  1. Intense snogging. (This is how I know he is ready to do the deed!) 5 minutes
  2. Wandering hands down and over my body to undress me. (Functional) 3 minutes
  3. He climbs on top (Always on top) 30 seconds
  4. He pumps and thrusts. (Occasionally lifts my legs. He might sit upright or lie against me) 12 minutes
  5. might orgasm (probably do 1/3 times, fake every other time) he then finishes. 1 minute 30 seconds

That, ladies and gentlemen, is our sex life. Formulaic, obvious and BORING.

No real attempt at foreplay, barely varied and we very seldom spice it up with another position or even oral sex. BORE.

I knew the situation wasn’t great but it was worsened the day I met the French girl and the Spanish girl. I’d never met them before but four bottles of wine later (have I mentioned I am a lightweight?!?!) and we were discussing sex like we had known one another for years.

On telling them about how DULL my sex life is, their jaws dropped.


“It’s BRITISH men, I swear.” Said the French girl abruptly and the Spanish girl agreed.

They then re-told their movie worthy sexual experiences with French men, Spanish men, Greek men, Italian men, Swedish men and English men. From the sample test of sexual partners that they had shared between them, it was obvious that English men came last. NO serenading. NO foreplay. An INABILITY to truly hold a woman or to look at the female body with the awe that these other men do it.

“British women can be so easy…it’s the nature of one night stands and quickies that make your Brit guys just want to get the sex over and done with until they’ve cum.” Stated the Spanish girl.

Then I thought about all the men I’ve been with (all British) maybe she had a point? I’ve never been serenaded, past boyfriends have been more adventurous and more experimental than the current guy, but they’ve never really taken their time. They’ve never spent hours going down on me or caressing my body until they’ve started the act.

Perhaps I’m just looking for exciting sex in all the wrong places??? Namely, in the wrong country! What are your experiences?

7 thoughts on “Boring sex is boring- time to look abroad?

  1. Have you ever talked about it with your boyfriend and told him what you want? Or even better, guide him in bed! Once he’s there and knows sex is forthcoming, he might be even more willing to try whatever it is.

    But if not, then what do you do?

    • I haven’t actually, considered it a little embarrassing if I’m honest, although maybe I should. You make a good point- maybe I will try guiding him before having an awkward conversations! Thanks for reading and sorry for the late reply!

  2. I don’t know how much my opinion is worth because I’ve only slept with one man, and he is fantastic. There is one position I like best, and we tend to end there, but we go through at least three positions, on average, before we get to that one. I don’t know if it’s nationality or just communication. Would a British man take offense if a woman literally asked for more romance or foreplay? I wish I had more advice than that. For the record, I have asked the man I sleep with to try a few things or to do a few things longer and he never seems to take offense to the suggestion.

    • I think your opinion is very valuable! I definitely agree with you that it’s communication. Perhaps I will try raising a few suggestions and see what that gets me! Thanks for reading and comment! Sorry my reply is so late!

  3. However British guys tend to be more loyal and trustworthy than some of those other nationalities mentioned.. I’m generalising of course, but sometimes one must sacrifice one quality for another! Unless you want to do a bit of travelling and explore your sexuality with more adventurous men?

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