To not understand the rules of your man’s favourite sport. Is this Rugby Union or Rugby League? What the hell is an innings? He gets a red card, why?? You’re not the world’s worst girlfriend, just smile and nod…and be more understanding when he doesn’t know what the latest Kardashian drama is or when he struggles to understand how your “Cherry Red” nail varnish differs from your “Bright Red,” “Ruby” and “Fuschia” nail varnishes.
To not have shaved your legs for days weeks beneath your jeans/very wooly tights. If your single and not having sex…then why the hell would I shave?? An extra ten minutes in bed is definitely preferable!
To still be Britney Spears’ biggest fan. Your itunes is dominated with cheesy 90s pop? Who cares? Just maybe keep a playlist filled with edgy bands and classic rock when you want to impress your new beau!
To take hundreds thousands of selfies when you’re having a pretty day.
To absolutely, utterly, completely, unashamedly, wholeheartedly, unwaveringly swear by Spandex Bridget Jones “suck-me-in” knickers!
To avoid social occasions by feigning illness to have a movie marathon and chocolate bingeing sesh once in a while. YOU ARE ONLY HUMAN.
To secretly (and the key here is secretly) fancy your friend’s dad/brother.
To not count the bottle and half of wine, three shots and two cocktails that you had as part of your daily calorie intake. If I say drink calories don’t count, then they don’t count…
To “Tinder check” every man you see in real life, in your head. “He’d be a swipe left, right right he’s a DEFINITE RIGHT” etc etc.
To prefer a bottle of Lambrini or a cheeky Smirnoff Ice to a glass of sophisticated red wine. (You may get a few glances and certainly won’t attract any French men….BUT atleast you avoid nasty red lips, a hangover from hell and inevitably stained clothes. WIN- WIN.