Break-ups are crummy; for both breaker upper and breaker uppee. It’s hard to let go (even if we have decided to do it) of someone who has been such an integral part of our lives. Therefore it’s a must, that you, me, every person ought to discover their perfect post breakup ritual.
A close friend of mine says she gets in her car, plays a CD filled with nostalgic Disney songs and drives until she is exhausted. She sings at the top of her lungs every song and rides through the countryside until she can’t anymore at which point she goes home, shattered and with a sore throat but (according to her) always feeling positive about any break-up. I love her dearly, but there is something amusing about the thought of a twenty something year old screaming along to the lyrics of “Hakuna Matata,” “Bare Necessities” and “A Whole New World” in order to soothe her broken heart. It’s also unbelievably sweet.
Another friend compiles a list of her all the things she dislikes about said man: from the petty; “how he burps in public” to the more major; “his drunken infidelities” and keeps it in her bedside drawer to read whenever she starts to miss him and considers resolving their differences.
My ex-boyfriend (when we finally were on speaking terms) admitted to me that in order to get over me, he had turned to the gym and obsessed over getting fit and working out like crazy. There was I, by contrast, in my PJs in the afternoon, curled up in front of The Notebook and eating Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream like it was my first meal on earth! I thought all girls did this? Turned to family sized bars of chocolate, purchased hundreds of boxes of Kleenex and indulged in a few days worth of self-pitying. Clearly not.
Maybe my post break-up ritual hasn’t been successful? I mean two of my exs I’ve given second chances to and it generally takes me a looooong long time to get over someone. Where am I going wrong? Is allowing myself a couple of days of reflection and slobbiness not the way forward?