How many is too many?

My ex boyfriend declared that I shouldn’t sleep with more than five people in my lifetime. Obviously it was comments such as this that lead to our romantic demise, but it did get me thinking.

How many is too many?

One of my closest friends remains adamant that entering double numbers is- and I quote- “utterly appalling.” I could understand where she was coming from- well, accept her stance, were she not on eight, already. That means that the next person she beds has to be her last, unless she decides to rekindle the flame with an ex. I find it barbaric that we insist on following self-imposed rules. Who said we had nine (sex) lives and that was that? What if number 10 is the best sex of her life? Or number 11 is the man of her dreams? Is she really going to hold back because her twenty two year old self was so appalled at the prospect of having slept with 10+ men?


Another friend of mine is pro sleeping with whoever but always tells the world that she has slept with four people. It’s the “Golden number” she insists. Just enough experience to be good in bed and to have a few anecdotes to tell but, too few to be labelled a slag. Four. She recounts what she will tell her future husband also; Number one- “the awkward virginity guy,” Number two- “the guy she dated for a couple of years not that seriously but he was a lovely guy” and Number three- “the long term serious guy that I thought I loved…until I met you.” Future husband will ofcourse be her golden four. HOW UNROMANTIC.

Then there is my friend who- at last count (‘tho she cant be sure!) has slept with 61 people. “I am what I am.” She declares; the guys she sleeps with know, all her friends know, even her mother knows- she’s not proud of it she insists but, she’s not ashamed either.

Whilst 61 is more than I have or (I’m sure) will ever have slept with, I cant help but admire her absolute honesty. I can’t help but think, actually, when it comes to scoring- she has the right idea. Surely we should just be upfront and to the point? If we’re judged for it, then sod ’em.

Being a virgin is you- its what you are. Sleeping with 101 men is you- its what you are. Our endearing naivety and our sexy experience stems from what we have or haven’t done in the sack. I can’t help but think…does it really matter, anyway?


One thought on “How many is too many?

  1. I think anyone who gets too caught up in how many people you’ve slept with has their own set of issues to deal with.
    Who cares? if you’re both willing and consenting, have at it and have fun.

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