How to bag a second date…

First dates, are eaaaaasy. We all have a meddling friend who likes to be Cupid, or the internet if that’s your thing- anyone can get themselves a date. The problem? The second date. These aren’t so easy to bag- because sometimes quite often the opportunity isn’t there.

Over a couple of hours of dining and a few cocktails you have to have made a good impression to be in with a chance of a second date. A neutral impression or a bad one- won’t cut it. Unfortunately, this time it is personal.

So, how can us ladies maximize our chances of date Number 2?!? Here are my tips:

  • Be nice! Sounds like a no-brainer but I’ve heard lots of tales of girls putting guys off on dates by not being nice…! Sometimes girls want to seem aloof on a date but if not pulled off spectacularly this can be construed as rude, which is a no-no. Other times girls relishing in their wit may push their sarcasm…a little too far, making the poor man at the receiving end thinking you’re a meanie! If you make him feel uncomfortable, he won’t be in a rush to sort you out with a second date! So be nice!
  • Be interested! Normally, you are told to be interesting but that’s unhelpful, everyone thinks that they are interesting! If your hobbies are discussing fake tan and last night’s Hollyoaks then doing these things will, in your eyes, make you interesting. If you don’t find one another interesting then it’s a deeper compatibility issue and a second, third, fourth date is in nobody’s interest. Being interested is a little different however. You’re on a date to find out the small stuff, his job, his hobbies, where he’s travelled to etc etc…if you make it all about YOU then how can your date engage with you? How can he properly interact? You haven’t had a proper date but an interview if you don’t ask questions back and properly interact. Be genuinely interested in what he has to say. You may not share his love of Rugby and nobody is asking you to pretend you do, but be interested in the fact that he has had a season ticket for his favourite team since he was 12 and that he is truly passionate about the sport. If you’re not actually interested in him then ask yourself why you’re even on the date…
  • Be open! Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve from the get-go and I’m not advising that you divulge intimate things like the STD you caught last summer or that bad dose of vomiting you had last week- but don’t be a closed book– an air of mystery can be sexy but if you dodge all of his questions and don’t give him an insight into your world then, he might just give up.
  • Be sober! Obviously have a drink to ease the nerves, but don’t go overboard- you irritate your best friends when they have to carry you home and hold your hair back as you’re sick, let alone a strange man you met only an hour ago! You want your date to see you at your very best- not slurring your words, falling off your chair and generally being embarrassing!
  • Be polite- say your pleases and your thank yous (this is obvious politeness) but also take an interest in your date (as above) and offer to go halves at the very least (even if you think he should be paying!) Nobody wants to date an ungrateful, entitled girl- so play it cool and remember your manners!

image

The post break-up ritual?

Break-ups are crummy; for both breaker upper and breaker uppee. It’s hard to let go (even if we have decided to do it) of someone who has been such an integral part of our lives. Therefore it’s a must, that you, me, every person ought to discover their perfect post breakup ritual.

A close friend of mine says she gets in her car, plays a CD filled with nostalgic Disney songs and drives until she is exhausted. She sings at the top of her lungs every song and rides through the countryside until she can’t anymore at which point she goes home, shattered and with a sore throat but (according to her) always feeling positive about any break-up. I love her dearly, but there is something amusing about the thought of a twenty something year old screaming along to the lyrics of “Hakuna Matata,” “Bare Necessities” and “A Whole New World” in order to soothe her broken heart. It’s also unbelievably sweet.

Image

Another friend compiles a list of her all the things she dislikes about said man: from the petty; “how he burps in public” to the more major;  “his drunken infidelities” and keeps it in her bedside drawer to read whenever she starts to miss him and considers resolving their differences.

My ex-boyfriend (when we finally were on speaking terms) admitted to me that in order to get over me, he had turned to the gym and obsessed over getting fit and working out like crazy. There was I, by contrast, in my PJs in the afternoon, curled up in front of The Notebook and eating Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream like it was my first meal on earth! I thought all girls did this? Turned to family sized bars of chocolate, purchased hundreds of boxes of Kleenex and indulged in a few days worth of self-pitying. Clearly not.

Maybe my post break-up ritual hasn’t been successful? I mean two of my exs I’ve given second chances to and it generally takes me a looooong long time to get over someone. Where am I going wrong? Is allowing myself a couple of days of reflection and slobbiness not the way forward?

 

This week, I’M LOVING…(14/7/14)

Shirt dresses. They’re the perfect summer essential- and can be worn as a super casual piece in the day or accessoried to the max for the night. Simple, effortless and yet so effective.

It’s such a nice look that can be worn in any way to suit your style…

You can do very casual, summery day wear with a piece like this:

image

Or something a bit bolder or more special for night:

image

Maybe you want a hot, figure hugging dress:

image

Or something a bit baggier and more casual:

image

If it’s plain, simple and effective you want then this is the item for you:

image

 

But equally a fussier, print-covered version can be yours too:

image

The versatility of this trend makes it a wardrobe MUST HAVE. You can tailor it to your style and accessorize all you want: jewellery, belts, shoes, hats….you name it. The fact this fashion trend can be worn so differently makes it ideal for you. If you’re short, tall, slim, curvy, young or old- it makes no difference.

I’m loving it so much and it’s super friendly on the purse- I bought a plain black one from H&M and have worn it during the day and then spiced it up for night with a metallic gold belt and a chunky gold necklace. SUPER EASY! 

Go out there, purchase one now and have fun customising it to suit you or your occasion!

Small penises, sorrys and sex music.

These have to be my three biggest turn offs. It’s a shame other things weren’t quite so big that fateful night!

I met B (I would hate to name and shame!) for dinner and a few drinks, we had met before, shared the odd kiss nothing too amazing but I was quite fond of the guy. He had a good sense of humour and- well that’s it all really takes to woo me, plus he was lovely and not what I usually go for (and that was definitely what I needed at that moment in time.)

He took me back to his and rather drunkenly we began to undress one another. He spent more than 5 seconds trying to undo my bra…”sorry, so sorry” he said as his clumsy fingers fumbled over the hooks- no biggie, no need for the apology- I ignored it. I raised my arms so he could lift my shirt up and over my head and as he did so it pulled on my hair. “Oh god…I’m really sorry!” He said, his face screwed up with worry, “honestly it’s okay” I told him. It was. Nearly naked, we dived under his covers. He began to kiss me excitedly and as he did so the covers fell off our entwined bodies and onto the floor- “I’m sorry, do you want me to pick them up?” He said, I just shook my head, another bloody sorry! He ran his hands up, down, all over my body- teasing my nipples, stroking my stomach and rubbing my chest. His hands ran down to my knickers over which he rubbed two of his fingers, it felt amazing- his never ending apologies aside, I was hopeful for what was to come.

I rubbed my hand on his boxers, he wasn’t hard- this was awkward, he was seeing me naked, he had caressed my body, I was rubbing his penis and still…he wasn’t hard! I whipped off his boxers only to discover that B was infact fully erect. He penis was small. As in….I didn’t know how to operate this thing. How was I going to give him a good blowjob? Was I going to feel it inside me? This was such a turn off and a worry. I’m not even being cruel as I relay this…we are talking smaller than my thumb whilst hard! Maybe he was two cms long. (if I’m being generous!) You get the gist…rather than to painfully re-live every moment of the sexual encounter let me conclude for you that 1) giving head wasn’t easy- it was unsatisfying for me…and probably for him although he did cum. 2) I could feel him inside me…but just about. He wasn’t breaking into any new territory any time soon though. It was meh, mediocre at best.

What made the whole memory unbearable was the sex music he insisted on playing. It was a mixed tape CD that he had compiled together with an unusual mix of songs ranging from the sexy; Nelly’s “Hot in Here” to the odd; Louis Armstrong’s “Wonderful World”- certainly the last thing you want to hear with an un-wonderfully small penis inside you.

image

This whole trauma is one I want to put to the back of my mind. Unremarkable sex, far too many apologies to let me relax and a cringey soundtrack to back the whole thing. A handful of songs on that CD, I will never be able to listen to in the same way again. Thanks Mr B.

You’re a nice man, you are. But not the one for me. You probably wonder why I didn’t text you back when you asked me how I was a couple of days later. You were probably perplexed when I ignored you again as you asked for a “second marathon sex sesh”- the first was NO marathon! You’re almost certainly confused as to why I never responded when you aked if I wanted a copy of your CD to remind me of “our night.”

I don’t really know what to say…I guess, in your words: I’m sorry.

This week, I’m LOVING…(7/7/14)

PASTEL clothing. It’s summer, what is better then seizing the opportunity to wear peaches, pinks, pale blues, mint greens and soft yellows?! It’s ALL about the pastels! I adore this trend!

So pretty, so summery, so gorgeous! The best of the bunch?! Zara.

Seriously get yourself down there on pay day (it won’t be a cheap day out- but NEEDS must!)

I am loving their pastel blazers, their pale long length coats and their sheer pastel cami tops at the moment! You don’t even need an incredible figure to wear this look well! Okay, so pale yellow shorts may be a little daunting on a larger figure, but a peach cami and jeans? A pastel pink trench coat thrown over any outfit? Gorgeous on any lady! This look is super classy and super elegant- it is subtle, understated but screams the WOW factor. I love love love it!

image

All shops are working this trend right now, so it’s super easy to bag yourself some pastel accessories and make-up to go with your new purchases!

The pros?

These colors are SO on trend right now. These colors are P-E-R-F-E-C-T for summer, let’s make the most of it! Zara clothing is great quality stuff that will last you far longer than any purchase from Primark/H&M/New Look ever will!

The cons?

£££££ Zara isn’t known for its purse friendly spending- but you gotta pay for quality! Not everyone will feel comfortable donning all things pastel- but it CAN work for you no matter what your age/skin colour/size. You don’t have to be a size 8, olive skinned goddess to work this trend!

 

 

image

The relationship types on a night out from EVERY friendship group!

1) The loner…

The one who never has a boyfriend, never gets with anyone on a night out, never seems to be interested in anybody. These could be the weird repelling all men types, or the girls who love being single and only care about having a wild time with their friends! You’ve gotta love them- they’re the reliable ones who won’t ditch you for a man at the end of the night, the ones who are always up for anything- a drink at any time of day and a boogie in any situation! They just aren’t interested in being bogged down…

2) The settler…

The one who married in their early twenties (or may as well have done!) The one who rarely comes out because they’re saving for a house/don’t really enjoy nights out anymore/would rather be at home with the boyf watching TV. This is the girl who bails on the girls holiday to Ibiza to have a week in the south of France with her man. The girl who never gets drunk, always offers to be taxi driver and dries the tears of any drunken friends. The settler aka the BORE.

3) The promiscuous…

The one who sleeps with anybody/everybody –most nights out end with her at some random guy’s house, sometimes said girl even gets a quickie DURING the night out- fingered on the dance floor, giving head in a bush in the smoking area, you name it… This girl probably can’t remember how many people they’ve bedded, they’ve done really adventurous things (threesomes, golden showers, etc etc) and have probably taken the morning after pill a fair few times!

4) The honeymoon period…

The one who is newly in a relationship and spends the night texting and snapchatting the boyf. The one who can’t stop talking about him aaaaaaaall bloody night long! The one who suddenly looks down on those kissing strangers/going home with random boys- normally has a newly found air of relationship superiority, you know the one! The type to leave the night early because they miss their other half, or the one to booty call him and get him to drop what he’s doing to see her. A pain in the arse, to be honest!

image

5) The still-not-over-him…

The one who declares pre night out that she will 1) not talk about ex of five years 2) will not talk to him if he is out 3) will not cry about him 4) will not text/call him drunkenly 5) will not even think about him. The one who breaks all five of her rules and with the aid of a couple of glasses of wine is a mess!! God love ’em we feel sorry for this one, but they may be starting to wear on our patience a tad!

6) The I-have-a-point-to-prove…

The one who is newly single, wants to get back at some girl etc etc any number of reasons but this girl goes out with an agenda. She has a plan that has been formulated and discussed at great length with the girls. To not get too drunk, to pull, to be seen pulling, to talk to someone in particular and to actively ignore someone else. This is the girl that often insists on 101 flattering photos that she can put on Facebook the following day to tell the world that she is beautiful/having fun/enjoying single life etc etc. When the plan goes well, this girl gets all smug….when it doesn’t they normally get drunk, or end up in the bathroom crying their eyes out!

7) The secretive one…

The one who never kisses and tells, who texts some mystery admirer all night, who goes missing for an hour or so and re-appears without an explanation. The one who blames it on alcohol, always conveniently has memory loss and somehow retains the reputation of an angel (even though we all KNOW otherwise.) This girl is trouble and we know it, but remain forever intrigued.

8) The inseperable…

These are the couple who go out together. “We are so close we are cool partying as a pair.” They’re often not- they change the atmosphere of the group since when was a girls night all girls plus one boyfriend? Yeah, never! Frequently they fight- he stared a little too long at another hot girl, she was in the loos for WAAAAY longer than was necessary, he tells her she’s had too much to drink, she tells him to fuck off. You get the gist. Normally ends with them either leaving early or making up and then making out for all to see. THIS IS THE WORST OF THE LOT.

This week, I’m LOVING…(30/06/14)

All things- Benefit for ye olde eyebrows.

I was born (thanks to my dad) with naturally very thick, bushy eyebrows…(NOT in the kind of sexy, statement, bold eyebrow way) So, aged about 14 when I first laid my hands on a pair of tweezers…I went for it, BIG STYLE. I was VERY pluck happy and didn’t stop until two, barely visible, thin lines of wonky hair remained.

Fast forward 6 years later- most of it has grown back (Thank god!) but they have never been the same and my left eyebrow enjoys something of a little bald patch as it widens. My eyebrows have never matched since and no amount of professional shaping, waxing, plucking or threading can help revive hair growth in this very uneven area. IT IS A SAD STATE OF AFFAIRS.

For months, maybe even years, I have been in pursuit of something to remedy this eyebrow situation. NOTHING has done the trick…eyebrow pencils have often been unrealistic, too dark or too clearly false. I have tried EVERYTHING that is out there.

When my dear friend Becky recommended Benefit products for my eyebrows, I wasn’t enthused…having long accepted my fate as the girl with unusual eyebrows. I rocked up to my local Debenhams, took a seat (always have mixed feelings when I get my make up applied in store- feels so awkward yet so diva-ish) and watched as a plethora of products were applied to my eyebrows.

It was a Cinderella-style transform! Thick eyebrows that were a-could be my natural hair colour- shade and that looked-finally!!– realistic and not drag Queen-esque. I bought two products in particular! (They were quite a fortune, I cannot lie, but TOTALLY worth it and so far they have lasted aaaaaages!)

My purchases included;

1) Gimme Brow

This is an incredible product! It comes in two shades (hopefully they will bring out more) but the darker brown suits me down to a tee (dark brunette, peachy skin and all) and there is a paler brown shade for mousy/blonde types! It’s applied with a small brush. At first it feels a bit strange applying a Mascara like product to your eyebrows but IT WORKS. It sticks to the hair you have, blends in the gaps and is super easy to apply! It also lasts ages (rarely have to re-apply during the day!) It comes in a little bottle but lasts ages and fits easily into my make-up bag! LOVE LOVE LOVE, GO PURCHASE!!!

image

 

2) Browzings

The second product is super nifty! It comes in a little palette with mirror and includes some great tweezers (although small, so I am forever misplacing them!!) a coloured wax product to be applied first and a powder to apply last. I also adore the brushes included, one of which is shaped in a slant which allows for easy, professional looking application! FABULOUS! The wax boldens the eyebrow, tints it a darker shade and shapes it with the aid of the special brush. It applies sooooo smoothly. Then you use the powder, which helps to blend and softens the look. It’s a brilliant product!

image

 

I use the Gimme Brow every single day, it has become a daily must-have essential! I use the Browzings when I’m going out or what a bolder look. Both can be used separately and/or together.

I CANNOT describe how much I love these life saver products although not cheap- they’re realistic, give enough definition to let you skip plucking for a few days unnoticed and really help to solve any wonky/misshapen eyebrow issues you might have! AMAZING!