To condom or not to condom….?

Damnit. Years of sex education, casual preaching from my parents/grandparents and lectures I have given friends on the need to wear a condom with a new partner. Yet here I am, an utter hypocrite.

I made the be all and end all of tremendous rookie errors.

Saturday evening. The current guy that I am seeing  sleeping with, took me away for the weekend. Staying in our hotel room we start to get a little frisky together. Breathless I ask; “have you got anything.” He pauses before telling me no.

Conundrum. Boys and girls, at this point it’s a done deal: ye olde willy should not be entering your precious vajayjay.  We continued to kiss and fondle and, remembering the wise words of teachers and relatives from the past….I decide to go downstairs to the public toilets in pursuit of a condom. Oh how glamorous! 

image

None were to be found. I retreat to the bedroom to tell my incredibly horny male companion of this sad news. The small hours are creeping up on us- no shop will be open. We continue to kiss and fool around with the intention of occupying ourselves elsewhere….when, before we know it, the deed is done.

Now, a few months ago I came off the pill for health reasons and because I wasn’t sexually active, didn’t find an alternative form of contraception. BOY DO I REGRET THAT NOW.

The following day is a Sunday…NOT a single pharmacy is open and I have no access to my doctor….so the morning after pill is not an option.

As it stands I am now juggling the prospect of becoming a mother and being riddled with STIs galore.

I have entered about 1000 Google searches as to when I can first take a pregnancy test, the effectiveness of the “withdrawal method” that my man friend used and the possible likelihood of my being pregnant.

I shall keep you all updated…..but in the meantime TRUST me…the heat of the moment is NOT worth the anxiety that follows.

image

Go have fun, bang the brains out of all and sundry- just be safe when you do. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE.