My middle name has near enough become “single and ready to mingle.” When asked why I’m single I pretty much always recite my age old mantra that I’m young and having fun. I’ve almost reached the point where I believe it.
Truth is, that my love life is quite frankly, pants, at the minute. It wouldn’t be so bad if I was out having fun. But I’m not.
It’s fine for a while. I do enjoy my freedom. But, one day you wake up, sick of it. I think we all have the I-need-more-excitement-in-my-life days. Today was one of those for me.
I woke up to four texts. One from my mum whinging about my younger sister, one from a female friend asking if I’m seeing her this weekend, one from my ex (don’t ask!) and one from a guy who I have no intention of dating, ever- but who I know quite likes me. Blah. My life is lacking in excitement.
I got dressed; threw on my greying (but matching!) underwear, some jeans to cover my not-been-shaved-for-several-days legs and a top that probably could have done with an iron. WHAT IS MY LIFE?
I spent a disgusting amount of my day discussing sex with my friends (mainly out of sex depravation) and I perved on the hottie in an opposite flat for far longer than I should have.
That’s as near as I got ever get to sexual contact these days. Quite frankly, I’ve had enough.
Between studying, going to the gym, socialising and looking for a job- I don’t have much time to find a man and fall in love.
I’m a bit of a stickler for my reputation and not doing things that make me cringe. But, after much deliberation, I decided to bite the bullet in the hope of no longer having a use for my bullet.
I joined a dating website.
My best friend shrieked on the phone as I told her. She assured me that nowadays “online dating is the done thing.” Immediately it became acceptable.
I scanned through my Facebook photos for the best part of an hour to find one that set the right tone; not too drunk, not too uptight, pretty but not posery, fun but not crazy. It was no mean feat.
I thought I had overcome the worst when I was confronted with an “about me” section. God, it made me cringe.
How do you avoid sounding try hard without being too breezy? How do you come across as witty without sounding like an absolute twat?
I am the queen of overthinking. This was my hell.
Finally, I came up with something that could scrape for adequate and swore vehemently that I would change it at a later date.
As I submitted quite possibly the worst prose about myself, I felt my cheeks blush and redden.
And then the strangest feeling swept over me. A unique combination of relief and liberation.
Here I was am, putting myself out there into the world wide web. Entering this alternate universe for lonely hearts and offering me more choice than a lecture theatre, a nightclub or my local Starbucks ever could.
Maybe it will end disastrously, or perhaps in a matter of months I will be loved up…
I’m not the desperate, weird, ugly person that I would have associated with online dating. I’m not a social recluse or inept in conversation. I am a circumstantial singleton, broadening my horizons and looking to test the truth behind the saying that there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Watch this space!
The trials and tribulations of a twenty two year old. 